Pete WENTZ, not the brightest BULB, first, you got involved with the SIMPSONS and now SPEIDI!

Pete, run, run away, quickly!

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Spencer and HEIDI have a new WEBSITE, oh goody!

www.speidiweb.com

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The HILLS will continue on in the same OLE fakeness!!

Lauren Conrad, Heidi Montag, and Spencer Pratt have all become famous because of MTV's "The Hills," but don't expect the trio's celebrity to become a plotline when the hit reality show returns in August.While critics have complained that "The Hills" is disingenuous because it ignores the biggest reality about its cast - their fame - MTV's new programming head Tony DiSanto doesn't see it that way. And he has no intention of changing the formula that has made "The Hills" the first anchor show of his regime."The show purposely leaves out the fame life and leaves in the non-fame life," DiSanto said. "It's not a documentary about Lauren who is a star because she's on a show called 'The Hills.' "DiSanto said closing the walls around the cast's fame becomes the yin to the yang of audiences reading about them in the gossip pages. From his point of view, those two factors combine to create a wider swath of interest.But even DiSanto concedes that the cast's fame is taking years off the show's life."The bigger 'The Hills' becomes, the bigger the talent becomes, which makes the non-fame part of their world smaller, so it becomes more a challenge to shoot the show," said DiSanto.I've thought about what made Laguna more entertaining to me than the Hills and here's what I came up with:1. Laguna followed more people which gave the opportunity for more drama.2. Laguna had a high school setting which helped facillate drama.3. Laguna always had parties, homecoming, prom, spring break and graduation to make interesting episodes.4. First Laguna will always be the best because it was a high school yearbook, the kids did not know what to expect so they weren't censored, and none of them expected to become a star out of it. Many of them never even expected the show to make it to air.5. The problem with reality tv now is everyone expects to be a star and "acts" a certain way.The main problems with the Hills are we all hate Speidi and know they are fake. We all are coming to hate Lo. No one really likes Audrina. Whitney is boring. And I would much rather see Lauren trying to do her line than see her in some fake job working as a grunt. The Hills would be a great show if they followed Lauren, Kristin and Stephen.

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Lauren CONRAD and LO Bosworth head out to EAT!

Those jeans are not flattering at all on Lauren, they make her look really chubby!

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US Magazine asks: Will HEIDI and SPENCER ever get married?

72% say NO and I agree!

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If these TWO were ABERCROMBIE and FITCH models, ANF would be outta BUSINESS!

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HOW SAD!!

Spencer reading Perez hoping he's on there! LOOSEERRRR!!

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Brody JENNER is a DUMBASS, here's your proof!

Damn you papparazzi for telling him! Brody could blown up!

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Just NOT a THURSDAY without posed SPENCER and HEIDI!

If you click on pic 4, you can see Spencer is truly a cheeseball as he shaved the patch below his belly button as a trail to his small p**ker so Heidi could find it. What a loser!

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First that dog has gotten huge! It reminds me of a soap opera where one a kid is like 5 and then two months later their 15. Lauren's kind of like a little kid who kid who has a favorite shirt and won't ever take it off, that's how she is with her tights!

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Audrina PATRIDGE was BUSY, BUSY yesterday!

Shopping and showing off the new tata's!

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Great NEWS, HEIDI Montag is ready to get married!!

Here comes the bride! After famously calling off her wedding last year, Heidi Montag reveals for the first time in the new issue of Us Weekly, on newsstands now, that she's changed her mind."I'm ready to marry Spencer," the 21-year-old Hills star tells Us. "He's my soulmate."What changed? On-and-off beau Spencer Pratt convinced her to plan their wedding again during a secret make-or-break getaway to Mexico."Heidi read me biblical passages like 'Honor thy wife,'" says Pratt.Check out the latest issue of Us Weekly, on newsstands now, for Us' full interview with Heidi and Spencer on how the decision was reached, who had to compromise, what MTV refused to show from their infamous Las Vegas reunion, and what style ring Heidi has told Spencer she wants.

Heidi can't read let alone read from the bible! Who in the hell would marry her? She's a whack job!

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Lauren CONRAD and WHITNEY Port filming for the HILLS!

I like Whiney's dress a little better than LC's but I don't love the Amy Winehouse slipper!

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LAUREN Conrad SCHLEPPIN!

STOP with those tights already!

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LAUREN Conrad and Ichiro? Romance?

DREAM DATE: LAUREN CONRAD & ICHIRO

by Chris SprowIchiro is known for his thoughtful quotes, but he also still routinely speaks through a translator, even though he understands English better than most anchors on Fox Business News. And yet, he's also been facing tough times. Those around him in Seattle have failed him. So when he met up with Lauren Conrad—who we know has felt similarly—at an LA coffee house in the Hills, we tagged along.

So did his translator, in today's episode of Dream Date.

Lauren: So you're like, having sort of a rough year, I know. I saw. I just should say, last year, when this stuff was happening with Heidi and Spencer and it was like, always sort of in my face, I didn't know where to turn, and it had me feeling, I guess vulnerable is the right word. Or angry. Kind of like, both of those.

Ichiro: (In Japanese) What is she talking about with Spencer? Is that the sex tape rumors stuff?

Translator: Lauren, it is kind of you to say that. Sometimes I too feel as though I am in the midst of peril, like the eye, or center of a hurricane; both literally and figuratively, as the centerpiece of the offense and the center fielder. And even when I achieve a calm for myself, I realize a hurricane rages all around me.

Lauren: That's weird, because I am so afraid of hurricanes, too.

Ichiro: (in Japanese) Uh, I don't think she knows you weren't being literal. See what's up with the Heidi thing. If there's a web link or something, we should know about this.

Translator: As a result of the hardships you experienced, have you begun to sense a greater feeling of well-being? In Japan, personal solace is not greater than the quest of the team, and yet an inner quiet can help you help your team achieve great things.

Lauren: I think you mean like, using Ambien, right? I do when I fly. I definitely feel a lot more comfortable with myself and I care a lot less about what other people think of me because I've learned when you're a celebrity, people will take every opportunity to criticize you because they're just jealous.

Ichiro: (in Japanese) I'd say those leggings are ripe for criticism.

Translator: I understand.

Lauren: I totally thought you would. You're so conscience.

Ichiro: (in Japanese) I think she means conscientious?

Translator: (in Japanese) Don't ruffle her, bro.

Lauren: Anyway, my only real talent is being myself. When I first moved to LA to do The Hills, there were a lot of acting offers, but I had never really been interested in acting, although I did take a class to check it out. It was all right, but I just don't think I could make a career out of something that I wasn't really passionate about. Right now, I just wanna enjoy this for as long as it lasts. I'd rather have a career based on something that makes me happy… and that has always been fashion.

Ichiro: (in Japanese) Only in LA can you have no talent, but still have stuff going for you. Such garbage.

Translator: And how is it with Heidi now?

Lauren: Well, like last year, she took me on a road trip to Las Vegas and we had the best time. It was important for me to know that I could still have a good time without a boyfriend. I slept in her bed for a month because I couldn't go into my room. And then I realized I just had to be out of that apartment because there were too many memories , and she packed up all of my stuff and we moved. Now…

Ichiro: (in Japanese) When will she stop talking!? Hargrove made more sense than this!

Lauren: Now, we are just like so separated. I mean, she is loyal to Spencer, and they have their own thing, and Audrina is sort of like this weird bridge, like…

Translator: What do you mean by bridge, he wonders?

Ichiro: (in Japanese) Dude!

Lauren: Well, it's like she sort of is friends with both of us, but like, we don't talk to eachother. It's hard to explain.

Ichiro: (in Japanese) I feel dumber.

Translator: I'm sure it is, Lauren. I'm sure it is. I too am forced to bridge so many divides. Between the English culture and Japan's, between pure competency and utter helplessness, as is so often the case in Seattle. Between my hopes, and the hopes of my team.

Ichiro: (in Japanese) She'll be in Playboy in a year, two tops.

Lauren: You're really sweet. I love what you said about competency, because I love that store. Shoes make me happy.

Ichiro: (in Japanese) Seriously, kill me now.

Translator: I, Ichiro, also enjoy shoes.

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Another PRICELESS edition of YO SPENCER!

YO SPENCER! I met this guy at a bar last week who's sort of a minor celebrity. He's pretty good looking and he was nice enough, but he wasn't my usual type, and if he hadn't been famous I wouldn't have given him the time of day. I ended up going home with him and haven't seen him since. I've been feeling really bad since: I'm a star-fucker! How can I stop feeling so shallow?Don't be hard on yourself. Sleeping with minor celebrities is a career for a lot of women in Hollywood. Next time just aim for an A-list actor who's in the spotlight.

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AWWWWW, Audrina PATRIDGE has to work the corner for MONEY!

I always knew this day would come!

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PLEASE Lauren CONRAD, STOP with the BLACK tights!!

It is such a bad look on her!!

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THE ladies at the MAXIM 100 EVENT!

Who looks the best??

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WHO wore it BEST??

Rachel Leigh Cook, Lauren Conrad or Stacy Kiebler?

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